Writing Your Wedding Vows

Contributed By Amy Manusco Events

One of the major decisions you and your fiance have to make while planning your wedding is whether you’ll use traditional wedding vows or if you’ll write your own.  More and more of my couples are choosing to write their own because it adds such a personal and sweet touch to the ceremony.

In all the hustle and bustle of planning your wedding, it can become very overwhelming to think about finding the time and some quite space to sit down and write your wedding vows.  You have one shot to say all the things you want to say to the person you’re promising your life to, which can definitely add to that little thing we call writer’s block.  But never fear!  Writing your wedding vows can be a breeze if you just follow these simple words of advice…

Write from your heart.  Don’t over think what you want to say.  You can go back and change anything or everything later – just write what you feel.

Decide on your writing voice: Do you want your vows to be deep and meaningful, light and humorous, or a combination of those?  Whatever voice you decided on, make sure it complements who you are as an individual, and as a couple.

Think about how you felt when you first met.  What was the first thing that attracted you to your spouse to be?  Those eyes, that laugh, something unique or humorous that happened?

Talk about the little things.  Does he go out to buy your favorite ice cream when he knows you need it?  Perhaps you get coffee made just right and brought to you in bed every morning.  Or maybe, even after a long time together, he still opens the doors for you.  Little things add up to a lot in love, and recognizing those will make him feel appreciated (plus it will remind him to keep doing those things when you’re married). 

Reminisce about the moment you fell in love.  We all remember this moment, and it’s such a sweet thing to share out loud.  Be detailed because this is a huge part of why you’re getting married.  And don’t be afraid to be funny here.  I’ve heard some hilarious stories of how men and women knew they were in love, so just tell it raw and honestly.

Recognize what this person does to inspire and support you.  Some of the greatest marriages I know of are built on having a best friend who ‘has your back’.  What does your spouse to be do or say to encourage you to be successful or accomplished?  How do they inspire you and support you through good and difficult times?

State the promises you’re making.  From loving and supporting each other through all life has to throw at you, to laughing at each others’ bad jokes, you are making promises on this day that will last your lifetime together.  Those promises should be honest and truthful, and include both the major parts of life, and the little things that make your relationship unique.

Practice out loud.  Even when we’re alone, this can feel awkward, but it’s important.  You’re going to be nervous and full of emotion as you stand up there looking into each others’ eyes (and with all your guests watching), so practicing a few times will make you feel much more at ease.  Plus, the words will flow more naturally and you’ll recall them more easily, giving you more opportunity to look into each others’ eyes instead of just reading off the paper.  With that said, it doesn’t have to be perfect!  If you flub a little during the ceremony, who cares.  It’s part of the sweetness and honesty of it all.

Keep your vows in a safe place on your wedding day.  Give them to your wedding planner, mom, or maid of honor so that you don’t lose track of that precious little piece of paper.